![]() ![]() ![]() “Troops in my own unit are dangerous experimenting with ripitol, going so far as to hold inter-platoon “case races.” I don’t think I have to tell you how THAT ended.” “This is a dangerous drug, known to make troops who overdose combat ineffective,” said the sergeant major of the 75th Ranger Regiment. Not everyone is pleased about the announcement putlawing Rip-It though. “When I get home and tell people I survived seven tours to Afghanistan and four to Iraq purely on caffeine and hate, people think I’m kidding,” explained former US Army Ranger Tom Shergood. ![]() “But if we were getting to go on a two-week patrol inside Taliban territory and you had room in your ruck, you didn’t carry spare batteries or another belt of machinegun ammo. You know those vests they have for carrying a bunch of 40mm grenades? Well I carried a grenade launcher but all of my grenade pouches contained the squad’s basic load of Rip-Its. My team leader even made me dummy cord each can to my LBV so I didn’t lose any.”Īdmiral William McRaven, former commander of SOCOM: “What, no more Rip-It? F-that, I’m out.” Negative reactions to the news are not confined to the enlisted ranks, either. Admiral William McRaven, commander of US Special Operations Command and a notorious Rip-It fiend, was reported to have retired offered his resignation as commander of US Special Operations Command when he heard that the tasty beverages were about to be banned by the Pentagon. He is now the chairman of the board of Rip-It Solutions International, the private military corporation/beverage conglomerate dedicated to making the third world safe for Rip-It and democracy. ![]()
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